Yes, I know, I put another post up really fast. That’s what happens when you write a series and then life happens in between and you can’t really help but tell the whole world around it. Part 6 is out later this week.
Today is one of those days where the weight of just how amazing my life is has overwhelmed me. I just cannot believe how much better my life has gotten and just how strong I am in my faith at this point in my life…
Family is something that has always been an odd topic for me. And, since mom and grandma died, it’s gotten even stranger. I have family still, of course, but I’ve been down here for so long that I’ve had to forge my own family.
And I almost gave all of this up. I thought that I had to give up my family, the people I love the most, in order to stay where I was – and I really wasn’t willing to let that happen. Is that selfish? Perhaps, but at the same time, I have family that I have chosen and built…
And that family has chosen me as well.
I spent last evening/today with Gina and Erin, who have definitely become my “Moms,” which is something I need. And then I went to church – and goodness me, every time I step into that church I am reminded just how blessed I am. Debbie hugged me tight when I told her I found an apartment. During Communion, Steve pat my back. So many signs that these people love me, and it means so freaking much…
I’ve barely been here 2 years. And it feels like I’ve been here forever.
We went through the beautiful Palm Sunday service – and can I tell you liturgy is something that I have learned to love and appreciate so much more than I used to? This thing that I used to think of as “bad” or “not spiritual” has brought me a deeper connection to the Jesus that I love so much.
There were several times in service today that I was sitting, running our tech, and I was trying not to let my tears hit the keyboard. I was just so overwhelmed by the grace of God – the grace of a God who loves all of us so much, no matter what sort of background they have.
I have learned to love God more and become closer to God since coming out of the closet. While some people say that this should chase me away, that’s so far from the truth that it isn’t even funny. I am overwhelmed by the grace of the God who gave me life, and helped to save me from myself.
That veil I had up, trying to hide from God and myself, was killing me. It hurt my soul and it didn’t let the people around me love me fully. It was destroying me from the inside out. But when you take the veil away, and you live out the truest form of yourself, then you start to really see what God has meant for you.
It’s a short entry, and it seems like it’s out of nowhere, but seriously, with the beginning of this Holy Week, I am just so excited and overwhelmed by everything that God has done for me. God answers prayers in such strange ways. And you know what? I’m glad that He did it in a way that I never expected.