Hi. My name is Marti. And Fari. And Draya. All three of those people are me – and I’m all three of these people. (Learn more about me on the About Me page). It’s just that I’ve never allowed myself to be seen as all three before, out of fear of what people would say.
Recent events in my life have led me to taking steps toward reconciling myself. After hiding certain areas of my life for so long, I’ve decided that I need a rebirthing, a reconciliation of every part of me so that I don’t look like such a hypocrite, or a fake. This is me; it’s who I truly am and I want you to come on this journey with me.
Some of you are wondering why I took so long to do this? There are a few reasons, and it took me a long time to be okay with all of them.
1. I wasn’t ever truly okay with being furry. I’m a furry. My fursona (furry avatar) is a black wolf/bear hybrid named Draya. I’ve always been on the fringes of the furry fandom; my favorite movies growing up were Robin Hood (the Disney version) and All Dogs Go To Heaven. Why didn’t I accept my “furryness?” Because all I knew of were the dark, scary sides of the fandom (which, guess what, you find in EVERY fandom ever). And before you’re like “You’re FURRY?” It may help you to know what the furry fandom actually is. This page on the Anthrocon website has a great description of what it is, and then you can make your own judgments.
2. I was afraid of my sexuality. I guess the internet is a weird place to “come out” but here it is. I am something that is called a demisexual. Want a brief rundown? Essentially, I am asexual. On the surface, I have nothing. No romantic feelings, no sexual feelings, nothing. I do not have any attraction until I have emotional attraction, which takes time to develop and only happens very rarely. Imagine this: You and I are going to the same destination. I’m starting from 10 miles away. You’re starting from 3 miles away. If we’re going the same speed, you’re going to beat me, right? That’s exactly how it is. I have the capability of becoming attracted to someone, but it takes a lot of time, and I want companionship above everything else. Don’t think of it as some “honorable thing;” it’s literally a type of asexuality. That being said, I am currently in an amazing relationship with a gal who I love very much, and I’m beyond thankful for that in my life.
3. Even though I am truly a solid Christian that loves Jesus, I knew that many Christians who I interact with would not like how liberal my views are. I rarely, if ever, share my political views but now I’m going to do so, likely in different areas of this blog. And before you ask, I believe all of these things based on both God’s Word and the use of my mind, which God gave to me to use.
4. I don’t like scaring people away. I guess this is the “last but not least.” Now that you know all of the things that I never shared because I’m terrified of losing people. I’ve been losing people and opportunities left and right lately, and honestly, I was still hiding all of these things. I got sick of being 2 and a half different people (Marti and Fari had already kinda overlapped). I hid all of these parts of myself in hope that I’d keep people, but what’s the point of having friends if they don’t know every part of who you are?
So, now that you’ve come here and are starting to see who I really am – I invite you to join me. Even if you’re one of the people that is shocked by everything you’re seeing here – stick with me. See what I have to say. Learn who I am and come with me on this journey.