One thing that I’ve always related to well is animals. As I’ve shared in other posts, my dog was my best friend growing up, and I always felt a little more comfortable with animals than people. Part of that was my shyness, part of it was how much I absolutely loved movies with anthropomorphic creatures, and the rest was just that animals are cool.
My fursona, as I’ve shared, is Draya Blackfur, a wolf/bear hybrid. Why a wolf/bear mix? Why not one or the other? What makes those two creatures so appealing to me? That’s what I’m going to look at more today.
First off, many people have asked me why Draya’s fur is black – honestly? It’s a homage to my dog, Charlie, who I’ve talked about a number of times on here. He was a black lab/Irish setter mix, and he had almost pure black fur (with a few white spots – and some gray ones as he aged). So literally, the only reason that Draya has black fur is because it’s meant to be in memory of my best friend growing up.
Of course, there were really specific reasons that I picked each of the animals that make up Draya’s fursona. I didn’t just pull them out of nowhere. Here, at least, was my way of thinking.
Draya started off as a black wolf. I’ve always felt really connected to canids, like dogs, wolves, foxes, and the like. I used to collect wolf stuff as a kid, and I was always really fond of these amazing animals. They are beautiful creatures and they are really intelligent. The reason Draya was a wolf was because of that, but also because wolves are loyal and they run in a pack. If you know me well, then you know that the people in my life are incredibly important to me and I love them. Wolves are also strong, and hard to find – which I am as well, or at least I think I am. Depends on the day.
But when I came back into the fandom (which took a couple years – I ran away because I started to feel really uncomfortable for some reason), I didn’t feel like a wolf was right. Yes, it was totally what I am, but I felt like there was something big missing when I started to redevelop Draya, and honestly, the main reason is because wolves are usually quite skinny, and honestly, I feel uncomfortable identifying with thin creatures, whether I’m roleplaying or making an avatar. It’s not like I’m like “I have to be big,” but I feel like it doesn’t fit me if they don’t at least have a little meat on their bones. I’m quite stout, and even if I dropped weight, I’d still be stout – I always have been. So my mind just doesn’t “feel right” when I play thin characters.
So I started thinking through it – I still wanted Draya to be a wolf, but I wanted her to be a little larger. Of course, I could always juts make her a heavy wolf – there are plenty of people who make larger characters. Heck, Velly, my RP character, has a character model that is skinny but, in my head, she’s overweight. But anyway, I started thinking about making Draya a hybrid, and the first thing that came into my head was a bear.
It was honestly only natural to mix the original Draya fursona with a bear. I’ve been referred to as a “bear” for most of my life in a number of ways. I’ve been called “Mama Marti” for a number of years, and that’s because I’ve got that “Mama Bear” personality where I watch out for and take care of everyone. You mess with one of my kids, you mess with me and it doesn’t end well for anyone that is involved in the situation. I’ve always joked that I was a “polar bear” because I prefer cold weather over warm (that being said, I was thankful for the heat reprieve over the weekend – it was beautiful!). I walk around in jeans and a hoodie from like November until April because that’s all I need. I also have the mentality of a bear at times, because I lounge around and act like a bum in my “cave” (apartment” all of the time. The bear was just natural, and mixing it with the wolf fursona made Draya into something that felt more like me.
So yeah, that’s my fuzzy self. I’ve been wearing my wolf tail a lot more often, which has been fun and it makes people smile – which is really important. That’s why I do a lot of things that I do, and I feel like it is just another part of myself that I’m exploring. So thanks for hearing me ramble about my fursona, and I’m glad you stuck around to listen to this silly wolfbear’s ramblings.